Meandering’s~Take 15

“My animal teaches me how to take care of her, and she shows me how to care for myself. “

My second “I DO”

May 24 th 1997

Fort Zachery Taylor Wedding Day:

From the airplane flying over and the ring drop during vows it was an awesome day. Stevie Nicks played on my recordings for the day. Solo guitar by Clyde.


Rest Easy Elio

Mr. Elio Rivera, 57, passed away Sunday, May 25, 2008. Mr. Rivera was born June 8, 1950, in Piñar del Rio, Cuba. He came to Key West, Fla., on Aug. 6, 1966.

God picks his most beautiful flowers in heaven, when they’re at their most beautiful in bloom on Earth.

How does my animal feel right now?

Then I notice my racing heart, my trembling hands, my shortened breath, my knotted stomach, my shaky legs, my clenched jaw…and I say, “This is no way for an animal to live.”
I ask my animal what would make her feel better.
A walk in the sunlight? A friendly voice? A treat? A nap?

My animal teaches me how to take care of her, and she shows me how to care for myself.

Always keep looking up, well occasionally look down so you don’t trip up

For you, Phoenix, it’s never really been all about the cottage at the beach, a multimillion dollar bank account, or the adoration of fans, has it?

Okay, sure, you could roll with it…

Instead, it’s been about having a life that allows for the expression of your creativity and exchanging your rare and special gifts with the world. To be yourself, no matter the cost, laughing often, and knowing to your core the meaning of love, friendship, and hot chocolate on a freezing cold night.

Just wanted you to know that I know this about you. And I think it’s just great how you’re imagining the latter when you visualize these days.

Especially the laughter and love.

Pretty much got you pegged, huh?
The Universe

Cynthia says~ Even at times we may not feel blessed.
We truly are.
Things happen, lessons hopefully learned and wisdom gained.

The best poem for ME is:

‘I Carry Your Heart’ by EE Cummings
‘It’s you who are whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you.’ You have a sensitive heart, which allows you to feel deeply connected, at all times, to nature and to the people you love.

In your mind, one thought leads quickly to another and another. You love drawing patterns, creating symbols, and feeling like you are part of something bigger than yourself.

More Meanderings at

Until next time around

Inspiration from Kate Maree O’Brien

Give Rise To Who You Truly Are

I love her accent and I love Bali. The scenery in her videos are beautiful. Waterfalls, lush green foliage.

But, her wisdom is what grabs you. Her sincerity and Love for what she inspires.

Her words

Those lessons that are reoccurring showing up in your life.. are there with a lesson for you. When you run from them, you run from the lesson…

You Smother the Whispers of your Soul

You Drown yourself with






Toxic Relationships

Any distraction you can come up with that will distract you from that DEEP KNOWING within.

People say they want change
They say they want something new…
But often what they want MORE is the alluring safety of the known and the familiar.
Real expansion and growth requires letting go of what you know
letting go of who you knew yourself to be.
But because this can feel so scary many people get stopped and go back to where it feels safe.
I challenge us all to re-think what feels comfortable and safe.
It might feel more comfortable in the moment, to not grow.
But I ask yourself this…
How comfortable will it be, if you’re still ‘there’ in a few years time And things haven’t changed??

Wisdom in Tealeaves



Photo by Cynthia

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Tib Bits:

I brew a pretty good cup of tea and will read the tea leaves for you.

Remember that Pluto rules nuclear power.

The explosive passion of Pluto has the rich, dark red wine color of the bloodstone.



Bloodstone has two rulers:  Mars and Pluto.  And I’ve given it the assignment of Scorpio.  The reasons are below.  This is a Pluto ruled gemstone.  Mars, the first ruler of Scorpio (and later, Pluto was given ruler ship over this zodiac sign)  rules the red blood cells of the body, so this is a perfect fit. Given Bloodstone’s vaunted energy and vitality it gives to the wearer, only Mars will do here.  Our ‘engine’, which is our daily physical energy, depends upon Mars in our natal chart.  With the “drops” of red blood on the dark green gemstone, Mars is the only one that can be selected.

But on a deeper, Plutonian level, this gemstone is about our DNA; our heritage from a family long past that we didn’t even know.  And our family DNA is with us whether we realize it or not.  For those who look at our family tree, the information can be monumental and important.  Why? Because we can look at our past family members and see patterns of behavior and perspective setting up.

What they were, we may be.  And to borrow from a history saying, “What we forget we are doomed to repeat.”  Well, it’s the same in the family structure too. We all have a miasm; its simply a matter of knowing what it is. Then, we have a CHOICE to make.

We can either choose to carry it forward into our present day family–or NOT.  And it is here that Bloodstone can play an integral part in helping us define what we are and whether we want to carry on that genetic/family heritage.

Bloodstone helps us DISCRIMINATE between good family genes and weak ones that hold us in a destructive pattern.  That is why Bloodstone works on two levels simultaneously. Mars works on the physical level and Pluto on the family heritage level.

It will assist you to become more peaceful and serene.


These gemstones connect with our deeper core values of this personality in this lifetime BUT, they also connect with our SOUL who has far more strength built up in it as a result of hundreds of thousands of lifetimes.  This is the phenomenal magic of Strength gemstones.  They are able to ACCESS this vault of built-upon and earned spiritual strength so it can help us get through some present difficulty/test/initiation that we’re putting ourselves through in this lifetime at this moment.

It ‘feeds’ us so that we don’t give up, despair or want to check out because the life lesson is “too hard” to deal with.   Not all people are strong spiritually speaking.  We have baby spirits to ancient spirits in human body on this Earth.  No one is created equal.  And we’re all working on collecting that very necessary soul strength so that we can take on tougher and tougher challenges–and work through them successfully instead of failing them.

Being grounded is essential for living down here on our Earth.  One of the most interesting facts about Bloodstone is that it is highly sensitive to heat.  That means, if you wear it, you are ‘exciting’ the energy of this gemstone and it’s going to start sending out its energy into your aura quite rapidly.

Today, it is seen as the Mother Goddess stone


2017 Update:the source is no longer available.

Be Aware and Informed on Generics


You are on your own with Generics.

All month I have taken a keen interest in the logistics of generic drugs. I am weaning myself off them which I have been forewarned is a major No-No.

This was instigated from the realization that my latest script for Cozaar  Losartan caused side effects as if I were just starting a new drug. My research uncovered amazing stories of persons with the same concerns.

Generic drug companies change. The main ingredient in the drug supposedly does not, but the fillers, size, color can and most likely will.

A bit of my health history.
In 2009 I passed out while working at Home Depot. I had taken a barrage of cold medicines so I could work. Two days later I am hospitalized with BP of 231/128. I am immediately put on Lopressor which made me almost immediately gain 20 pounds and had other annoying side effects. A year later I had severe muscle cramps and nerve damage in my hands and feet. I was always dizzy and was NOT spinning right round so too speak.

I am feeling so rested. Actually I slept better than I have in years. Last night I noticed my mouth wasn’t dry as cotton. My legs and arms did not HURT so badly. My stomach ache is gone and regular elimination is back.

Symptoms and side effects of what I now know to have been from Losartan Blood Pressure meds. 50 mg once a day with a baby aspirin 81 mg to top it off. Every day for the past 6 years.

My BP is fine so far actually the numbers are looking even better.

I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C in 1998.
I no longer drink.
I am a smoker of less than a pack a day.
Leg ablation were done on both legs due to a malady called leaky vessels. My ankles and feet were swollen everyday for years. I could barely walk.

My days and nights collided.

My social life plummeted.

Since 2009 all these sides have at one time or all the time invaded my world.
Each time I voiced my concerns I was prescribed something else that in effect severely clashed with Losartan.

All vitamins and Doctor prescribed scripts are in a drawer hidden away.

Losartan 50 mg

Warnings and Precautions :
Caution should be exercised in patients with history of blood vessel problems, poor blood circulation, fluid retention, heart, liver or kidney problems

Warnings and Precautions :
Caution should be exercised in patients with history of heart disease, high blood pressure, nervous disease, liver or kidney disease.

Will increase the level or effect of losartan oral by altering drug metabolism.

Muscle Relaxers

Severe nightmares
Still had spasms

Like I was drugged on a overdose of heroin. Very slow moving, dizzy, weak, very tired somaication, Incoherent, off balance, heart palpitations.

Lowered blood pressure, both feet spasms. Dry mouth, like it was stuffed with cotton.

Using Fluconazole together with Tizanidine can increase the risk of an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious.

Slept all the time. After a week couldn’t sleep. Up all hours. Feet swelling and 20 pound weight gain in just a month.

Prescription Potassium Extended Release

The above supplements can cause high levels of potassium in your blood. High levels of potassium can cause weakness, irregular heartbeat, confusion, tingling of the extremities, or feelings of heaviness in the legs.


Prescribed for urine leakage and urgency (Bladder)
One week later suffered from  severe urinary tract infection.

Generic (Wellbutrin) Budeprion XL 300

For state of mind and smoking cessation
Weird and psychotic feelings

After regime with Losartan I experienced:

Dry mouth

Tickly throat and annoying cough

Stuffed, dry  nasal passages

Shortness of breath



Off Balance


(Meaning~sleepy, drowsy. Tending to cause sleep.
A condition of semi consciousness approaching coma. In a condition of incomplete sleep; semi comatose

Numbness and tingling in hands and feet

Cold sensations in legs especially left foot and area above left knee

Terrible cramping and spasms in left hand and both feet felt like little broken bones.
Could not put weight on either.

Tired all the time

Swelling of calves, ankles and feet

No energy

Weight gain

Impaired urination

Bladder infections

Retention of urine

Feelings of doom and depression

I never considered it could have been caused in effect by a prescribed drug by a doctor I trusted.

Today I am in charge folks. I want quality in my life not so many side effects from generics that do more harm than good.

I am 66 years old.

I am 5′ 6 in. I have lost 25 pounds. I eat nutritious foods
No soda’s
Aware of hidden sugars
Limit all sweets

Read the book “Selling Sickness”.

Most importantly please remember that Generic drug companies are exempt from being sued for serious reactions and sometimes death.

“Patients will now be taking generic drugs at their own risk,” said American Association for Justice President Gibson Vance. “It is absurd that doctors and patients will have to make medical decisions knowing that only brand-name drug manufacturers – not generics – can be held accountable for their drugs’ dangerous side-effects.”

This Maze Called Life

‎I woke this morning feeling so much better of health, mind and spirit. Pain is such a thing that completely controls when you are engulfed by it. Some pain is a natural occurrence of say perhaps having a bad tooth removed, the after effects of which is excruciating  pain. Perhaps you waited to long and the pain had already taken its place. An extraction was the only option you had to make.

Pain surrounds us. The pain of losing someone you love. The means can be by separation. Temporary, fleeting or permanent as in death.

Our lives are made of happenings, occurrences, trials and tribulations. These are what make each individual’s story.

Life stories.

Many persons choose to keep them hidden. Not only from their selves; but any curious minds that tend to want the satisfaction of the probe. They have a morbid fascination with needing to know, to dissect what made the person he or she is or was.
Being part of the Human equation we all have the predisposed story. We are born, we are nurtured, loved and protected. We grow into wisdom by experiences we have. We die.
The adopted child is in someway, not always given unconditional love, nurturing and protection. They are chosen ones. The biological parent chose to place them for adoption. The reasons sometimes given at some later date in the child’s future. Perhaps the parent was too young, the child was conceived by rape. The child was better off with a more loving family. A Human that would show them so much more love and opportunities in his life.

The ultimate reason is always they loved the child so much they knew they personally would never be enough.

In actuality, we all have essentially the same story. Our feelings on love, life and all the inbetweens. The chapters, turning the pages on the experiences that make each individuals story (the unique one ) that it is and always will be.

The adopted child. How they felt when they discovered their parents were not there biological parents.

The child raised by abusive parents. The fear of losing the only thing they knew if the truth was revealed.

Drug Abusers, Addicts (Elicit and Street), Alcoholics. The paths they took that led them to addiction and recovery.

All stories. All sounding so similar yet so different.

I am a recovering addict. I never told my story or shared at a N.A Meeting. In recent years I have shared through my blogs and writings. I have been clean since 1998. I have chosen the path that works for me.

I came from a loving home. I had a family, a mother, a father, a brother and two sisters.
When religion became the mainstay of my mother’s life when I was 12 years of age my life took a dramatic change. I wanted to please both my believing mother and my disbelieving father.

It changed me. I always was looking for acceptance from them.

In later years my rebellious nature took over.
I was eventually disfellowshipped from the church and in their retribution shunned from all I loved in life.

I never have understood how a person of faith can say they love you unconditionally yet cast you away like a moldy piece of bread or cheese.

When I felt I could no longer give my daughter the life she deserved I made the choice to take her too her father’s. That decision changed me in ways I find hard to accept at times. I no longer felt responsible for anyone, not even myself.

My life was reeling so fast and furiously out of control there was no other option too me.
Now, I see the selfishness in my actions. I deprived her of me, her mother. I was never abusive too her, I loved her.

Everything in my  life escalated afterwards. Relocating, new friends, jobs, habits.
I never lost contact with her. She was forever part of my heart.

Now, years later my daughter is back with me. My parents are both of the air and mist. My grandchildren are thriving in adulthood. I have constant correspondence with my siblings.

Both my ex husbands are deceased.

I am feeling very blessed.

Most important of all. I steer my vessel now, I plan and control my destinations.

A poem I wrote many years ago.


From a dream these thoughts arose and upon arising finding pens and
paper I  began this prose.

Life in almost every instance is chosen.
Not at the moment of birth but from each moment henceforth.
You have control of your world and surroundings.
Your Chosen Ways

In the first years, you in a sense control your parents.
They feed, dry, and clothe you when you cry.
Then in your teens they try to almost no avail to control you because after all it’s your life.

Your Chosen Ways
As you find your way into the world, you and your Chosen Ways find joy, happiness, pain, depression, and helplessness.
You swim at times, others have sought your Chosen Ways.
You sink at times under the influence of their Chosen Ways.
In the name of love, you destroy your loveliness with drugs and alcohol.
In the name of faith you lose your parents love for twelve years of your Chosen life.

Your Chosen Ways
You wander aimlessly, seemingly without purpose, chasing an elusive butterfly for years.
Live in shelters, on the street
Not missing a beat.
You submerge yourself in self-destructive Chosen ways with the same Chosen people
You are a product of your parents, and there parents and on and on and there Chosen Ways
You want, you don’t want.
You laugh, than cry as if the milk spilled or your cup is well filled

Your Chosen Ways
One day after living this Chosen life for so many DAYS OF YOUR LIFE, you get hit as if from a thunderbolt.
You begin to smell the roses, the wetness on the rose petals from recent rain.
There is No Right way, nor is there a wrong way.
You awaken with light in your eyes and joy in your heart.
It is after all,
Your Chosen Ways.
written by Cyndi
October 2nd, 1999

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