As The Moments Pass

I was laying in my bed last night.Thoughts whirling. I made a note to myself to write today. I do faithfully keep my journal entries but I have not sit and actually blogged since April of this year.

So here goes.

I have come to realize that each and every one of us are going through something. We may not mention it so much but it is ever present. Sometimes persons we love and care for so much do not seem to realize the extent their pain rubs off on us.

We hurt with them, and wish we could make everything OK for them.

I also realize we are essentially on our own so too speak.

Any negative’s we release to the universe comes back in another form or fashion. It is better to let it out and than let it go. No need for re story telling or the constant guilt trip so many of us put ourselves through.

No one is pure light and fancy. We all possess a darkness.

I suppose wisdom comes from years of experiences, being in a place of helplessness at times. Yet again…

being a part of time and spaces where we are truly comprehending enlightenment, peace and tranquility.

In my present moments I am bewildered by persons in my past that seemingly come out of the woodwork. They want me back, they want what they so carelessly tossed aside.

I am not in their space. I care, but not the way they would like me too care.

After 20-25 years past seems rather redundant to say the least.

I have never been an overly materialistic  person. I do find the ways to acquire what I need. My animals are all well cared for. I help others when I can and I sleep well at night.

I try to listen and observe more.

I make an effort not to make promises I can not keep.

Some one said something to me the other day. It meant a lot too me.

I really enjoy reading your writing. It reminds me of another time, a different season.

So perfect is her prose, so meaningful her content.

Reading her words is a reflection of my thoughts at many given times.

She pens wisdom and feeling, indeed.

my response:

Such a beautiful thing to be able to express one’s self in writing and prose. I do so appreciate that you appreciate 🙂

I am going to bed with these sweet words on my mind as I lay sleeping into my dreams.

Random thoughts last night before sleeping:

When I was growing up country style. We had wells. Some actually had steps and you could step down into the dark, mossy dampness. Creeper crawlies were in full swing. Huge spiders and other slithering things. I always felt so intrigued.

The way I felt so whole, no fear when I went down those steps into the darkness.

 

OH and My Dreams:

Whoa, stop with these crazy ass dreams.
First I was being attacked by invisible entities, I woke with shallow breathing. Scared.

Second walking with unknown man in unknown territory.

Third  scheduled to work the graveyard shift but no notification.
I was in the process of moving when I went to JOB and Billy said so you’re 66. I said no and she said Yep.
No show, no call and you are 66.
I explained that I was moving, things were scattered, trying to find shift uniform. Trying to find shoes that fit little boy I was babysitting for extra funds.
My car would not start, my moped battery was dead.

I am tired.
Maybe coffee will fix me.

Nine (Sleeping at Last) is here:

Here is the MIX

“Nine”

Who am I
To say what any of this means-
I have been sleepwalking
Since I was fourteen

Now as I write my song
I retrace my steps
Honestly, it’s easier
To let myself forget

Still, I check my vital signs
Choked up, I realize
I’ve been less than half myself
For more than half my life

Wake up
Fall in love again
Wage war on gravity
There’s so much
Worth fighting for
You’ll see

Another domino falls
Either way

It looks like empathy
To understand all sides
But I’m just trying to find myself
Through someone else’s eyes

So show me what to do
To restart this heart of mine
How do I forgive myself
For losing so much time?

Wake up
Roll up your sleeves
There’s a chain reaction
In your heart
Muscle memory
Remembering who you are

Stand up
Fall in love again and again and again
Wage war on gravity
There’s so much
Worth fighting for
You’ll see

Another domino falls
And another domino falls

A little at a time
I feel more alive
I let the scale tip and feel all of it
It’s uncomfortable but right

We were born to try
To see each other through
To know and love ourselves and others well
Is the most difficult and meaningful
Work we’ll ever do

In closing to all my faithful followers

Stay True to You in All Waysscorpion_frog_move